Winners Keeper
by Myalieninvader
Summary: An Irken Alien claims Zim to be his, but does Dib have a problem with that? Zim has no clue whats going on!(slash)
1. Dirt child from outer space

Authors note: Hello worm babies BEHOLD the almighty story of, me, OBEY the fist and sit! … STINK BEAST WERE ARE YOU GOING… you dare to leave, you shall pay dirt monkey! You will suffer my wrath! Victory shall be mine!

Disclaimer: (Miss Bitters) This poor doomed child doesn't own Invader Zim-(me) lies, YOU LIE! …okay fine I don't(sticks tongue out)

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(Somewhere in space)

"Master we have located a planet earth a few hundred miles away, Irken Zim is detected there" A Sir urgently reported in an upright salute.

"Then what are you doing taking to me, turn this ship around and head to this Earth" the invaders antenna twitched annoyed. The Irken watched as the Sir saluted and disappeared into the ship. The alien smirked to himself "I finally found you Zim, after all the waiting, the suspense, and the long searching I have done, the hope that I'd get to finally hear you… I'll get to see you…to feel you, you are mine Zim… you just don't know it yet"

(Skool)

"You jerk!" Dib fumed glaring at Zim, then back at his broken lab top "I will get you for this you alien scum"

"Filthy worm monkey! What makes you think I would waste my time with USELESS human trash such as that? NOW leave dirt baby or pay dear!" Zim hissed waving him off "goodbye, goodbye…why are you not leaving! YOU dare deify ZIM!"

"I just saw you!" Dib pointed accusingly.

"You speak lies!" Zim shouted leaping on top of desk pointing a finger at him.

Miss Bitters growled, popping a type in, on the type it showed Zim knocking over the laptop whistling "you jerk!" Dib yelled, Miss Bitters stopped the type. Dib walked to his desk happily.

"Why would you do that" Zim said after moments of silents.

The door to the class swung open reveling a dark icy blue eyed boy with short black hair but the front side was long enough to cover his eye, he was dressed in a black shirt and baggy black pants covering his combat boots.

Zim getting off his desk to sit inspected the human, to his surprise the human smirked knowingly raising an eyebrow at him, Zim glared.

"Class this here is Rik another pathetic waste of air, just like you, now if you have anything to say, I'd say it cause after this moment, I don't want to hear another sound from you" Frowning he shook his head no, and Miss Bitters assigned a seat in the middle front desk.

As Rik took his seat Zim eyes drifted to have a glaring contest with Dib who had already started.

After a few moments much to his surprise the new kid put his feet on the desk blocking both there views. Zim glared at him but received only a wink, disgusted and taken back he tried focusing towards the chalkboard. Out of no where a paper ball few across the room lading on his desk, he opened it reveling a picture of him on a autopsy table with Dib beside him smirking evilly

"Filthy human" Zim scribbled what said 'Not in the lifetime Dib' and threw it back, after a couple of seconds the paper ball was thrown back but got caught in mid air by a certain new student, opening it, it seemed at that moment the Rik guy had turned pure evil, drawing something and throwing it at Dibs head hard enough to knock him out of his desk. Dib opened it and immediately turned pale not doing anything though the rest of the class.

(After bell ring)

Zim started walking down the stairs to the school, stopping at the sound of Dib "Hey Zim, what's with that new guy, he your boyfriend" Dib said glaring although amused. His sister trail beside apparently annoyed.

"Stupid earth monkey, I would never stoop that low to involve myself in a bunch of defenseless worms" Zim said sickened by the comment.

"Oh really then why would he draw this" Dib tossed the paper to him, opening it Zim laughed; the drawing was the Rik guy cutting off a certain part and Dib panicking. He read what Dib had said 'someday Zim I will get you on that table' and realizing it looked like Dib was being perverted he made sicky noises.

Rick popped up behind Zim purring in his ear, "boo" Zim taken by surprise turned around tripping on the stairs, out of reaction Dib caught him.

Awkward silents fell over before Dib realized what had happened and immedeintly dropped him. It didn't help the glare fixed on Riks faced which had turn to hate to a I-kill-you-slowly glare.

"Stupid Earth monkey! How dare you drop me, ZIM, I shall have my vengeance on your oversized head." Zim hollered to Dibs retreating back.

"MY HEADS NOT BIG!" with that he disappeared down the streets with his sister.

"And what do 'you' want earth stink" he glared at Rik.

"You, but that's not the point, who is this Dib" Rik protested grabbing him by the arm. Zim outraged that he touched him slapped him.

"You dare touch me with your meaty meat fingers of …MEAT" he pointed to the human that was rubbing his cheek in pain. "I tell you nothing about the Dib"

"That really hurt Zim" he said rubbing his cheek. "Did you have to slap me"

"Stupid Rik worm you dared to touch me, you must pay" He declared walking off " I have better things to do that to talk to a worm baby"

"I'll walk you home" He said grabbing Zims hand, Zim pushed him hard enough to land into a bush "don't touch me"

"This is going to be a long stay" Rik sighed getting out of the bushes pulling a twig from his hair.

(Dibs p.o.v)

"Gaz you go on ahead I'm going to spy on Zim, the something about that new kid I don't trust"

"Shut up Dib If you make me mess up just because you're worried about your little boyfriend I will destroy you" Gaz hissed tightening her grip on her game.

"He is not my boyfriend! Hes an alien bent on destroying this planet! And my greatest enemy"

"Whatever" She said walking ahead of him.

Dib starred in shock as she disappeared. "Why would she say that? Its not like I even like Zim, I hate his guts, the very thought… makes me… ah forget it" Dib stuffed his hands in his pockets dismissing the thought, "Its not like I care if Zim were to fall in love with that Rik guy"

He stared at the sky "…would I"

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now how do you like it! Is it worthy or should I crawl back in the dirt hole I came from? 


	2. Whats the movie?

Authors note: (smiles) me again! Miss me! OBEY ME and say yes. Nod you head if you understand…..now tell me if you nodded your head… now everyone one SIT for I have something to tell you…Let the show begin!

Disclaimer: (Gaz) she doesn't own Invader Zim… (Me) liar! (Gets slammed against the wall by Gaz)… Okay I don't own Invader Zim… (Gaz) that's more like it…

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Zim starred at the smiling Rik …5…4…3…2…1… Rik tried holding Zim's hand again, but was pushed into a granny who repeatedly whacked him with her purse.

"FINALLY" Zim ran to the door of his house "NOW, I hope to see you again, I had fun, be gone with you!" He hissed darkly.

"Great, Can I come in? After I pop my spine back in place of course" The blue eyed boy asked hopefully, carefully watching as the granny walked passed.

"NO" Zim responded opening the door.

"No?" Rik's voice dropped depressingly.

"Yes." Zim was about to close the door but it was stopped.

"Yes, Aw thanks Zim" Rik said opening the door entering his house "Nice place, do you have anything to watch here?"

"WAIT you tricked me, you no good rotten HAMAN!" Zim shouts didn't get any responds from him, Rik just continued to search for video's "That's it, compu-" Zim stopped instantly 'the human doesn't know I'm alien, I must be more careful'.

"Whacha doin!" Gir squealed walking in the room. To his relief he was in the doggy outfit, to his terror he was talking.

"Im trying to find a good movie…" Rik said disturbed by the green dog that was talking to him. "I …didn't know dogs can talk…."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Well uh you see, Gir is very special, he was in a neutral accident that caused his speech to go, all funny like" Zim said pushing the dog towards the kitchen.

"I'm special!" Gir squeaked hugging his master. Zim helplessly tried to push him off but Gir's grip was like super glue.

"Go Gir or no tacos for you" Zim demanded and Gir immediately started to panic.

"But I NEED my tacos" Gir started jumping around crying flinging himself to the floor were he continued to yell and scream "taaaaaco's tacoooos" then instantly fell asleep.

"That was weird, may I get some popcorn?" Rik said giving up on looking for a movie.

"Yes…yes you may" Zim shivered starring at Girs drooling, slobbery, and twitching self, Rik disappeared into the kitchen whistling like nothing happened. A few minutes later a camera fell from the top of the ceiling "DIB!"

"No it's your imagination…" Dib said not making any sudden movements.

"No it isn't." Zim hissed pulling out a weird device. Dib jumped from the ceiling and knocked the device out of his hands pinning Zim to the floor laughing triumphantly.

"Aw poor helpless little Zim" Dib laughed, Zim continued to struggle but decide just to kick Dib were-the-sun-don't-shine Dib rollover in pain eyes watering "ow"

"Ha now what Dib monkey" Zim declared grabbing the weapon, Dib jumped up and easily took the weapon shooting it at Zim. Elastic handcuffs shot out at and Zim dodged it with little effort, Dib tackled him pinning him down again "Dib monkey get off me and give me my device so I can destroy you!"

"Nope I think I'll keep it and send it into mysterious-" Dib couldn't carry on because he saw Rik holding popcorn, standing in the doorway.

"GIVE it to me Dib" Zim shouted Demanding he give his device back, Both Dibs and Riks mouth hung open gapping at him, Zim looked up and his mouth hung open too, after a few moments went by Zim finally was the first to speak "That came out wrong…"

"I hate you" Dib said getting off him and scooting towards the door "Well I'll be going n-…hey, wait, what are you doing here in the first place."

"I'm here to watch a movie… what are YOU doing here" Rik pointed at Dib, clutching the popcorn so tight it was cracking the bowl.

"…You mean you're on a… date, with Zim?" Dib said slowly trying to get him self to believe it.

"yes/no" Rik and Zim replied at the same time.

"But ...he's an alien!" Dib shouted, apparently Rik didn't believe him, cause all he did was just raised an eyebrow at him and saying.

"You're crazy."

"Um, I guess I'll, uh, just be going now, here's me leaving, yep" Dib said slowly going towards the door, opening it he turned back to Zim pronouncing the words slowly to him "yes. I'm almost out… I will leave you to your DATE."

"…Would you like to stay and watch the movie Dib?" Zim said in a lazy tone. Rik dropped the popcorn mouth falling open again.

"Yes, I think I would!" Dib said happily walking towards the couch, but was stopped by Zim.

"Any tricks dirt child and you will pay DEARLY" Zim hissed his fist balled up.

"Yes, yes I know" Dib said dismissing him and walked over to Rik. "I can't wait to see how good this evening turns out" Rik pushed him and started to pick up the popcorn mumbling. Zim pushed Dib into a silent talk.

"I do not want to be DATEING a rotten no good FILTHY worm child and that is the only reason I'm letting you stay, if you even THINK about pulling out a camera I will do horrible things to that abnormally sized head of yours… what's your excuse?"

"I don't want this planet invaded with alien/human babies. The very thought makes me shiver" Dib shivered not seeing the discussed look on Zim's face.

"What are you doing over here" Rik whispered pushing Dib out of the way.

"Nothing... Nothing at all" Zim purred leading Rik to the couch "make your self comfy and I'll play the movie."

Zim started to leave but was yanked into Riks lap "I'm comfy…" Zim balled up his fist growling, he was about to punch him but was pulled off by Dib and pushed towards the TV.

"Yes Zim go ahead and start the movie" He sat down as far away as he could from Rik. Zim glared, he was getting pushed around in his own base.

"Put in the movie um, My lover" Rik suggested rolling his eyes.

"No…put Death of Jenny Walker in" Dib smiled, Rik glared, Zim sighed.

"Between a romance and horror, I choose horror" Zim eyed to see if anyone disagreed with him. Rik crossed his arms, and Dib smiled happily placing his arms over his head.

Gir woke up and quietly went towards the door. "Gir, where are you going?" Zim asked, Gir looked back and started making kissy noises. He was immediately thrown out "Go Gir, go chase some cars or something…" Dib gapped and Rik smiled evilly.

"This is going to REALLY be a long movie"

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If I still have run on sentences, and mistakes Ill fire my error reader person. Thank you for the reviews! Bare with me if you think I should have had more action or stuff, oh and Gir would have woken up and ruined my chaos and stuff for my horrible new chapter so sadly he gets to chase cars... (Pats Gir) I still wuv you. 


	3. I hate your eyes!

Authors note: Gezz I'm lazy… Well… Back to the important matter, ME! Now where was I…Oh yeah! I shall rain DOOM on you filthy human heads! Get your heads ready for the droplets of "death"…hey, wait…what are you doing, Don't TOUCH that, nooooo- (please stand by)

Disclaimer: (Dib) she doesn't own Invader Zim, and most likely never will, man I'm boring (Me) have you ever notice how he just keeps talking?

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Zim broke out in giggles as everyone started dieing in the "Sad" scene. His giggles turned into a laugh, which eventually broke out into a hysterical rampage. It was already dark outside but the crickets were scared off by the intensive laughing. Dib smiled innocently toward Rik who was getting drowned with popcorn that had spilled every time Zim went on an insane laughing spree.

"Want some popcorn?" Dib offered his bowl biting back a hurtful snicker. His mouth twitched as the murderess glare on Riks faced started to look like a plain pathetic attempt to shut him up "Ill take that as a no."

"Why don't you get lost Dib, I'll tell Zim you bailed on the movie" He stated more than offered.

"Yeah right, I know what this is about, and I won't allow it" Dib said happily munching on his popcorn "So 'you' get lost"

"Dib, I swear, if you intrude, I will make you wish you were never born, I will twist your limbs, break your arm, I will make it so you were under such unbearable pain you want to die" Rik hissed grabbing Dibs neck digging his nails into him, A soundless moment fell over, all but Zim's laughter in the background was heard "make that my promise to you Dib, If can't have him… nobody will, remember that"

"What makes you think I WANT him?" He snorted biting Rik's hand "It's only for mankind I do this."

"Is that so? First off I never said anything about you, and second… are you so pathetic you have convinced even yourself that" Rik barked a laugh rubbing his hand "I've seen it for myself, if your calling me blind then"

"That's exactly what I'm calling you!" Dibs voice started to rise above a whisper "are you so brain dead that your paranoid of having him taken away, what is wrong with you people. You haven't been here for less than a day."

"You hide it well, but not well enough, I can still see it" Rik bite back.

"See what? There is nothing to see because there nothing there to see" Dib growled "what in the world would make you think that?"

"It's your eyes!" Rik shouted pointing at him, Dib stayed quiet "Your eyes, since the first time I saw you stare at him it made me sick, I saw it in your glare, I saw the look you gave when drawing that picture, I saw it when you and Zim were talking after the bell, It was there when you were fighting him, when you asked about the date to right now I could see it, I hate your eyes, the amusement, the thrill, the worry…the caring, I have yet to see any hate in them… for that I hate you, for that I also envy."

"Listen, I really don't know what you think you see" Dib tried to reason but the intensity of his glare was making it hard "But there is nothing there."

"This does not change the fact that you are unworthy" Rik cut him off, Dibs mouth flew open in amazement, 'this guys head is thinker than a block of cheese' Zim had stopped laughing and was started to take out the movie. "You are pathetic Dib and under him."

"Hey, what happen to the envy?" Dib said annoyed.

"I never said I envy you… I said your eyes" Rik pointed out discussed "to envy a person that denies what they can take to willingly is stupid."

"NOW, I have watched this movie thing and I must request you… Get out of my house!" Zim finished putting the type away and started to shout shaking his fist "you heard me, out, out! OUT"

Dib got up and was walking to the door but stopped to be sure Rik even was about to leave. To his surprise Rik had a sly grin on his face "observe."

What are you-" Dibs mouth flew open as he saw Rik crush lips with Zim. An odd hatred and annoyance seem to tingle under his skin, but as he reached forward wanting nothing more than to hear Rik's scream, Zim delivered a punch in the blue eyed boy's eye which flew him across the room and out of reach. After the punch Zim started screeching and repeatedly gagging as he rolled around on the ground. Taking the opportunity he went over to where Rik was laughing "Beside from you getting whacked in the eye I don't see what's so funny," Dib snorted.

"You, tell me striate to my face you do not care for Zim" Rik declared triumphantly as a dark ring started to slowly appear around his eye. "I saw it in your horrid eyes" Dib looked him lazily.

"I do not care for Zim" Dib stated in a matter of fact way "I was annoyed that I'm having such a tough time trying to keep this breeding thing from happening."

"Breeding? I never though of Zim that way…" Rik said in deep thought, Zim had stopped rolling around and seemed very upset.

"I want you OUT of my HOUSE" Zim stomped over to the door and opened it then he realized his floor was getting wet "Stupid stink beast stop drooling all over my floor!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry" Rik wiped his mouth, and went over to get his good bye kiss "I really hope we can do this again maybe alone next time" he winked and slowly leaned forward.

"Yes, yes it will be magical, now LEAVE" He pointed outside, Dib pushed Rik out the door waving bye to Zim.

"Oh and before I forget" Dib rushed back up the stairs "Zim I found a way to rid you of your Rik problem, but you have to at least try and play along."

"Oh really, tell me your plan then worm monkey" Zim suspiciously eyeing him. "I will accept if you make sure it works. Well on the other hand I could use him to study mating rituals."

"NO!" Dib shouted glancing at Rik who not surprisingly hung around. Dib leaned into whisper.

"Well stop your nonsense talk and just tell me Dib worm" Zim protested, taking a step back since Dib was so close. Dib stepped forward.

"Be with me" Dib whispered in his ear, Zim's eyes went wide "…Acting of course" Dib said stepping back smirking at the homicidal Rik.

"If this is the only way… then you have better not touch, grab, or even kiss me with those meaty lips, we start tomorrow, I shall hope everything is planned out." Zim hiss warningly, but Dib waved him off. "Stupid big head" With that he slammed the door.

"You already said you weren't interested in him, I know what your up to" Rik shouted obviously over hearing the conversation "Do you really think you're clever, that has to be the stupidest plan ever."

"No, I for one think this is dumb… but I also think I might test your so called proof." Dib rolled his eyes raising an eyebrow "I will show you I'm not at all interested in Zim, if this is the only way, then so be it" With that Dib walked off 'If I can fool Rik into thinking his theory is correct, then he'd stop trying to get with him… wait what am I supposed to do after I convince him… maybe I should have thought this through, Zims going to kill me' Dib mentally slapped himself. "Hey what's this" he took a weird device from his pants.

"This is Zim's… oh well a gift to me."

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Well my hands started typing and I just went with it. Maybe I should have let Gir stay... hm, I think I now what to do for the next chappy! Oh and if there are any mistakes in here, I will throw her over a cliff... then jump with her. Thankies for the reviews! 


	4. Battle of the notes

Authors note: hello it is me your humble and respected…witty, charming, sly, cunning, lovable, gets hit over the head by readers Ow sorry anyways I am VERY happy you stuck around long enough for this. :D

Disclaimer: (Gir) nope, that girl is not owner of this, cute ponyyy! (Whispers) Gir you're supposed to say I don't own invader Zim… (Gir) do you? (Me) …well no I don't (Gir) don't what...? (Me) …own invader Zim (Gir) you own invader Zim… (Me) no I don't own invader Zim… (Gir) you're a strangy lady…

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(Morning at skool)

"Therefore, the universe is destined to collapse" Miss Bitters laid back in her chair falling asleep. Zim finished scribbling notes for his next big plan to conquer the world when a paper ball hit him. Outraged Zim slammed his fist on the desk searching for the culprit "who threw that!" after no one answered he settled for reading the note.

**Zim, don't forget we are supposed to be together.**

Zim rolled his eyes and started to write a 'love' note. A few seconds later he coughed franticly trying to get the teachers attention, but she kept on sleeping, annoyed he jumped on his desk and coughed louder making signals. She didn't move, Zim sighed "oh look a child in pain"

Miss Bitters snorted waking up "what where, oh, what is it Zim?"

"I do not wish to ask you anything, I just hope you do not take this away and read this to the class for I will be devastated" Zim acted out badly. Swinging the note around he pretended to hide it "I would be so hurt if you read this to everyone."

"Right, well, Zim, give me the note" Miss Bitters hissed.

"Oh no, you have caught me" Zim had a blank stare with a monotonous voice. Miss Bitters slithered behind him taking the note. "Oh no, please do not read it out loud."

Miss Bitters raised an eyebrow, and stated to read.

**Dib I hate you, you large headed STUPIED monkey boy and for what I'm going to say, I will make sure you PAY dearly…I… like, you.**

Miss Bitters had to dust and sound out the last part since it was erased so may times it was hard to tell what was really written. Dib slammed his head on the desk 'idiot no one is going to fall for that' Sure enough Rita rolled her eyes. "I knew there was something wrong with Zim"

Rik rolled his eyes and started to scribble words down then coughed franticly. Miss Bitters snatched the note and read it.

**Zim, ignore that stupid loudmouth, that maniac can't defend or even like you the way I do.**

Miss Bitters growled as Dib scribbled a note. Hissing she pulled it from his hands before he could cough.

**Oh please that's pathetic Rik, you sink so low to date an alien!**

Miss Bitters snarl again as Zim wrote another note and handed it to her.

**LIER! I am not an alien! It's a skin condition you dirt ball of human FILTH!**

Rik walked up and handed her an already written note.

**Shut up Dib! Your crazy!**

Dib walked up and handed his note to her.

**Don't tell me to shut up you alien lover scum!**

Zim handed his note in.

**For the LAST time I am not an alien, Big heads just crazy! He thinks bigfeet exists!**

"Why the heck are we yelling at each other in notes?" Dib questioned stopping in the middle of his writing.

Everyone shrugged.

(After school)

"This is your entire fault stupid earth child!" Zim started to yell "I should have known you'd mess up."

"My fault" Dib whispered grabbing his hand pulling him along "If Rik wasn't attracted to you this wouldn't be a problem!"

"Dib, where are you taking me" Zim tried to pull his arm away but Dib refused "let go stupid Dib monster… or else."

"Shut up Zim… Rik's following us" Dib whispered now turning the corner to his house "We have to look like we are in some sort of relationship, at least…"

Zim shivered "Why your house? So many germs, and there just waiting to feast on my juicy flesh!" Dib gave him a weird look as he opened his door.

"I'm not happy either about having an alien in my house" Dib led Zim in but he came to a halt when seeing the angry look on the aliens face "Zim what are you looking at…uh oh" He had left Zim's device on the table. Dib lunged for it stuffing it in the back part of his pants then making a run for it.

"Give it back Dib!" Zim jumped, tackling him Dib started to struggle "That's mine you get your germs off it"

"Never, its mine now" Dib tried to push him off but only rolled over and giving Zim the chance to find his weapon by 'searching' him. Professor Membrane walked in giving the scientist from around the world a tour. The scientist gasped.

"I found it!" Zim declared as Dibs mouth fell wide "I think it's stuck?"

"…that's. Not. It" Dib blushed cherry red trying to push him off.

"Oh my god… and this way is my laboratory!" Dibs father pushed everyone out of the room. Zim started to gross out realizing what he meant by that 'that wasn't it'.

"That could have gone better" Dib pushed him off giving him his weapon back "Do not do that again"

Rik busted in "I saw everything!" Rik went over to Zim "He forced you in it didn't he!"

Zim stood up stunned "uh, yeah, I mean no, I need to feed Gir" Zim started to walk to the door. Rik pushed Dib into the kitchen

"I knew you'd do something like this" He pick up the plastic fork and was threateningly walking towards him. Dib looked around finding nothing so he settled with throwing a glass of water at him. Zim walked out, Rik wiped off the water and raised the fork.

"What the" Dib mouth dropped as Rik started to burn.

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Sorry if this took long I read it myself… so I kept changing events in the story… hehehe sorry! Anyways I think Ill edited the chapters I already posted just because it bothers me hehehe Site has been updated background music has been added and other stuff. Thankies for the reviews! 


	5. Not that Tape!

Authors note: I'm Back! Bow down before me for I have corrected SOME of the mistakes…some… I admit that last chapter was a really big booboo but I assure you Dibs taken all the blame:) I make more mistakes when I read it myself apparently… it's a sad gift that I will wonder this earth not knowing (Puts self in denial)

Disclaimer: (Rik) she doesn't own Invader Zim… (Me) Hey! I created you! You better be grateful! (Rik) thank you, but you still don't own them… (Me) …you meany!

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"An Alien, I should have known! Is this another plot of Zims to take over the world?" Dib eyed him for any suspicious movements; unknowingly he started to ramble to himself. "Oh no what if the invasion is just beginning? Everyone's in danger, the world is depending on me! I must inform everyone! Or is this just another Tak thing?"

"Stupid human, I will rip your insides out! That really hurt…" His eye twitched sadly rubbing his cheek "Zim doesn't know and if I have to rip your jaw out to make sure of that… believe me Ill do it with pleasure…"

"So what are you doing here? Who are you? What is your business with Zim?" Dib backed away to the living room not taking his eye off him "How do you know him anyway and why do you want to keep it a secret if you're the same race"

"I piloted Zims destroyer in operation doom one, of course he didn't know we were still on are home planet despite warnings and nearly destroyed us all…but he did it with passion…" He added with admiration. He sighed hopelessly "I bet he doesn't even remember me, anyways, Zim seems to take a liking to humans, so here I am, I kept an eye on him when he was banished to Food Courtya hoping to make my move someday, I was forced to pilot the tallest ship till I was trust worthy to pilot a destroyer again…and then there was the great assigning and later I found out he was announced dead, after awhile I got on with life but I wasn't happy… it came as a shock when there was a transmission coming though from an unknown planet called earth…I got my insane little one back… kind of " He added hatefully. "I was able to escape after a couple months…sadly it took me six more months to get here"

"Zim destroyed your home planet" Dib said Dumbfounded.

"Yes, almost"

"That's just dumb" Dib said taking out a pen a note pad. "Tell me more about this food Courtya" The doorway busted open and Zim poked his head in.

"I forgot my device" He pointed to the couch where it was "An uncommon mistake"

Dibs dad came back in quickly escorting everyone out "Thank you for coming...yes. Yes, goodbye" His dad closed the door leaning against it sighing "I want everyone in the living room…now" they did what they were told obediently all but Zim who went for the door, but Dib grabbed hold of the back of his outfit.

"You to space boy" He said dragging him to the living room. They all sat down as membrane just kept shaking his head "Dad I can explain, it wasn't what it looked like."

"No need to explain son I now know the truth" His dad raise a hand then pointed to Rik "are you gay too"

"…do I look cheerful?" he stated crossing his arms.

"No are you queer" Membrane tried again.

"I don't look funny" he glared.

"No, a homo, a faggot, or you know what lover" Dibs dad started to stress.

"I'm sorry I don't understand…" He tilted his head.

"Do you like guys?" He blurted rubbing the side of his head.

"Well duh, what am I suppose to like…a girl" he laughed and got an odd look from both Dib and the Professor but Zim rolled his eyes in agreement "Oh but I have nothing against the gender benders…" He added respectfully.

"Yes well I do not appreciate that you do something like that in the living room, I know all you young kids are into that kinky stuff now and days but please not in the living room" The professor winced uncomfortably.

"But dad, really he was just trying to get the weapon that was hidden in my pants" He tried explaining.

"Yes son and that is a very powerful weapon that should only be used if you really care about someone." He stated straitening up; Dib blushed at that comment "that is why I think its best for you really connect, so I've decide that Zim and Rik both should sleep over" he said but his voice disapprovingly.

"What, no… hey wait, why does Rik have to stay over?" Dib ask dumbfounded.

"Your having a threesome right? Sorry son that's my pager I have to go" His dad ran out the room.

"Wait, Dad…great" He sighed glaring at Zim who played with his thumbs innocently "I have a camera system that will detected if you leave the room and set the alarm off, so you have better not try anything"

"Insolent fool boy…I would never" he gave a sideways grin.

"Yeah well, just hurry up and get your things" He turned his head as Zim walked out "Oh, and Rik, I suggest you make sure there are no flaws in that disuse of yours because my cameras will pick it up" He glared.

"Trust me, there wont be" he walked out. Dib rolled over trying to get comfortable and saw Gaz standing right in front of the stairs.

"Why didn't you tell Zim, Dib?" Gaz walked to the fridge no doughty looking for the soda "You have nothing to save by keeping it a secret"

"…I… They would team up and the humanity would be in great danger" He replied softly.

"You and you humanity" She said turning around and heading up stairs with her soda.

(Later that night)

"Dirt worm I am not sleeping on the ground!" Zim hollered "Give me three reasons why I ZIM should be degraded to the filth of squeaky wood?"

"Number one there's carpet! Number two there is only room for one on my bed, and three its my house" Dib fumed as Rik dragged his stuff in, Dibs mind just started to realized that the two of the would be sharing the ground "on second thought… there's room for two"

"No!" Rik refused "Dib let your guests have top, be a good host"

"I am letting one of you have top" Dib said dismissing the argument "But till then lets keep are selves entertained"

"How about a movie" Zim suggested pushing the tape that was already in.

"Huh? Not that one!" Dib fell over Riks stuff and the movie started to play "take it out!"

"**Yes, I made it" Dibs voice from behind the camera, the camera pointed at Zim **

"**Gir please leave there is something wrong with my body I'm need the computer to run a check"**

"Take the movie out, now" Dib struggled with the bag.

**Zim starting to remove his outfit.**

Dib finally got the bag to let go and went for the VCR, Zim started to yell and point Rik struggle with him and the VCR apparently wanting to see more.

**Zim got to the last remaining item covering his body but was stuck.**

Dib pushed the eject button but the movie instead got stuck at a very bad part.

**Zim finally pull his boot off with a moan and body fully exposed. (which kept repeating)**

Rik eyes glowed and Zim yelled louder. Zim's yells caused Gaz to burst in "What are you- oh."

Gir broke in through the window and landed on top of Dibs head covering his eyes "Master you forgot the toothpaste" Gir screeched then look at the TV "Masters nakey!"

"Gaz, did you find out what all the commotion was about" Dib father came to find out.

"Yep" she pointed to the screen, his eyes widened. Dib had all he could take and couldn't take no more, so he did what any normal person would do.

He took a bat and repeatedly smashed the television in.

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Lol I had to do something like this… it was killing me… plus I rated this pg13…or T for teen…Yeah, Thanks for keeping with me! 


	6. Whats rain?

Authors note: hello, we meet again fellow humans! Hehehe Sorry for harming your innocent eyes human, I made the rare mistake of type and tape I mean once in a lifetime! What don't you believe me… hehehe thanks for catching that…? I got lazy and skimmed through it myself I'm sorry for any mistakesT.T (slaps hand) I'm soooo lazy!

Disclaimer: (Poop Dog) word up peps this is Poop Dog and this homie here don't own Invader Zim! (Me) I'm not your homie…Boonieslashfiend's gets the credit for the scared Zim hiding under the Dibs jacket... I swear I didn't know who drew that picture at first.

* * *

Dib kept swinging in a maniac rage.

Meanwhile Gaz ran to her room hearing something crash, Zim couldn't think of anymore insults and just started to scream, Membrane was having a metal break down mumbling something about kinky recording, Rik was crying over his loss of entertainment, and Gir… was eating toothpaste.

"I…I think I'll leave now…" Dibs dad said terrified, he got up and twitchily went for the door "Lab… bye."

Dib stop swinging and fell over exhausted, He look to Rik who was now hugging the abused television, Dib glared then moaned as Zim shrieks were giving him a headache "Gir I think you should go now" Dib said seeing Gir trying to suck the rest of the toothpaste out.

"I don't wanna! I DON' T WANNA…okay bye" Gir drop the toothpaste and flew out the window breaking even more glass.

"Zim stop yelling I got a good explanation…well not for the bat thing but." Dib grunted looking toward Rik again "…I really hope the electricity in that barbecues you…"

"What did you say" He stopped hugging the broken machine raising an eyebrow at Dib.

"I want answers now you menacing Dib filth!" Zim interrupted toothpaste in hand "tell Zim your lies."

"Well if you have to know... I was studying you…" Dib blushed starting to grab the tape but Zim took it away "Hey I need that!" Zim crushed it "that's just mean."

"I think you studied enough…" Zim glared "If I didn't know your head was too big to break off Id, Id, do HORRIBLE things!" Zim growled making gestures of squishing Dibs head.

"I think Zim should sleep down here, who knows, he might try to study the inside of you next" Rik hissed grabbing his bag, Dib glared again "We know he'd have more than one camera to record it" he mumbled under his breathe.

"How would you know about the cameras Rik monkey?" Zim eyed him suspiciously.

"Rik monkey…?" Dib questioned, 'That's my name' he fidgeted a bit, "…More like stupid ape boy…"

"Aw what's wrong Dib, jealous" Rik sneered grabbing his pajamas out of the bag, along with other various items.

"Me JEALOUS over a stupid nickname…? I don't even like the stupid name… what the heck are those!" Dib laughed seeing him pull out pink bunny slippers "you have pink bunny slippers."

"I want to know how you knew about the cameras Dirt ball…tell ZIM!" Zim examined him "there is no way you could have spotted that…" Rik fiddled nervously.

"I, um, I told him" Dib hesitated "I thought I could convince him you were an alien." Zim looked uncertain.

"And with what he told me I am somewhat convinced now" Rik said lowly but amused "You might just be an alien Zim."

"The Dib, him and his gibberish lies, you hear me LIES!" Zim obviously started to panic "you can ask anyone at school, he's crazy!"

"Okay Zim I'm convinced you're not an alien" Rik dismissed putting his slippers on "thank you for your wise words" Zim looked still unconvinced, then looked down at Rik's pajamas realizing he didn't have any.

"What's the matter Zim, don't have any pajamas?" Dib laughed, grabbing a baggy shirt and sweat pants from his closet and handed it to him, Zim made a sickened gesture "Zim you don't have anything to sleep in so just wear it " Zim unhappily took them going into the bathroom.

"There better not be any cameras in here?" Zim stated coldly slamming the door, 'I really wish he didn't do that, he'll make Gaz come in' Dib shivered at the thought grabbing another baggy shirt and sweat pants kicking Rik out to change. Five minutes later they settled to bed.

"Stop hogging the covers Earthinod" Zim pulled the covers away from him, Dib shivered pulling them back. Rik was snoring loud in the back ground.

"Zim you can't have them all…" Dib struggled to keep some.

"Fine" Zim let go making Dib fall off the bed "Happy?"

"No." Dib declared getting back on the bed and giving a fair amount to Zim "my plan will work Zim just give it time" Dib yawned "How persistent can he be?"

(Five days later after school)

"Let me walk you home again Zim" Rik ignored the fact that Zim was holding hands with Dib "It's a beautiful day we can go to the park later." He grabbed Zims hand nearly pulling him out the door. "This would be a lot easier if you'd let go Dib…"

"Me and Zim are busy, Rik." Dib said his name with distaste.

"Oh please doing what? Trying to study him?" Rik argued back as he tried to push the door open "Besides, it's so warm out" Just then thunder roar in the back ground. "What was that?"

"Its called thunder" Dib rolled his eyes and heard rain drops, going freely out the door pulling Zim along. "And that's called rain."

"Shouldn't he know that?" Zim yanked his hand away and pushed Dib down the stairs "Why am I the one getting pulled every where?" Zim looked at the droplets remembering he didn't bath in paste to block the rain, as soon as Dib was back up the stairs he hid under his jacket. "If you let me stay under here I won't try to destroy the earth for a week."

"Okay." Dib twitched at Zim closeness then smiled 'Zim looks like a frightened chick monk… Rik looks like a terrified cat'.

"Why are you frightened Rik" Zim eyed him from under Dibs jacket "Your use to this type of weather, right?"

"Yes, of course, it was delicious" Rik slowly went towards the rain; suddenly a bunch of kids ran out the school bumping into him causing him to fall into the wet poison. Somewhere a kid started to scream.

"Wow, look at burn!"

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Thank you again for reviewing! Not That Tape was my favorite chapter. . I got lazy and skimmed through it myself so hopefully it's not that bad as I said before. 


	7. Cover up blown!

Authors note: my computer broke! It dares defy! I will teach it a lesson! It will NOT defy me like it has never done before! (Reviewer: that made no sense…) MAKE Silent now. I'm a genius!

Disclaimer: (Tallest purple) she doesn't own Invader Zim, lucky for that I don't like her! (Me) to bad this is still my fanfic!

* * *

Zim's eyes went wide from under Dibs jacket; it was silent for a moment as if time slowed, but reality kicked in.

"Why does it hurt" Rik got back up diving for the dry stairs all eyes on him as his whole body was steaming. Dib sighed standing there knowing everyone had already ignored the recent paranormal happening and would just probably ignore the rest of their conversation.

"Your Irken, what's going on? Why are you here?" Zim came out from under Dibs coat closing one eye angrily poking at the dumbfounded Rik "You can not have my mission! It is ZIMS"

"I don't want your mission Zim!" Rik commented heatedly, he paced the area nervously hoping nobody over heard their conversation "I didn't come for this stupid planet" Zim looked suspiciously at him. Gaz busted through the doors, obviously having a bad day.

"Get out of my way or pay!" She pushed them out the way; flames followed her and the sky turned into a swirling blackish ness of doom. The rain had stopped though. Zim pushed Dib away.

"Obviously our deal is off stink meat since Zim is no longer in need of an umbrella boy." He grinned as if he just conquered the earth. Gaz glared, and suddenly it started raining again, Dib smirked as Zim slipped Gaz five dollars, as she thought it over it stopped again.

"Listen Dib I don't want to hear anything about aliens Bigfoot or chicken man got it! If you do I will make you hurt like you've never hurt before!" Flames came up as if proving her point.

"Gezz Dib you're getting bossed around by your little sister" Rik laughed as Gaz started to walk away "the babe needs to chill…" Gaz stopped immediately flames ragging.

(Two minutes later)

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it Miss.!" Rik screeched tears forming as Gaz stopped shoving his head in a puddle of water; Dibs mouth fell open as everyone in school had already left. Gaz pushed a button on Rik's school uniform and his cover up was exposed "what are you looking at?"

"I know you" Zim declared pointing actually at the exposed alien. Dib examined him noticing his outfit looked a bit like Tak's but instead was shades red and black. Rik glared at him with the most disturbing pair of deep red eyes. Zim backed away "You work on the bottom half of the tallest ship!"

"How do you know that?" Dib asked as Zim gave a cocky grin. Gaz was getting tired of listening to them but surprisingly just left without comment.

"I know everything about my almighty tallest…plus he completely screwed up on the tallest ship repairs when the armada was damaged in an unexplainable event and was no longer able to pilot anything." Zim shrugged but Dib rolled his eyes recalling the unexplainable event "After that he was not heard from again."

"Yes Zim but that's only the half of it" Rik quickly put his holograph cover up back on just then noticing he had it off to begin with. "You see after I was banned from piloting I decided to peruse in finding something I was missing, so I stole a Sir unit and ship to get here"

"Well whatever this thing you are missing you better find it quick" Zim pushed him out of the way "I have no time for distractions, and if you were to be caught supious eyes would linger to the almighty ZIM"

"Don't worry you wont have to" Rik said arrogantly "My base is completely flawless"

"Good then you should be gone in no time" Zim stated walking away "I have no clue of what you are trying to find…. But I assure you I don't care"

"Hey wait…" Dib reply impatiently "I can't have two aliens on earth! Someone will notice!"

"Isn't that a good thing?" Rik raised an eyebrow at him and a wicked smile appeared "It's what you want right, so you should want me to stay, right?"

"NO! ...I mean yes…"Dib thought this over "No, because two aliens will mean the earth would be in more danger then it already is! There's no way I'm letting that happen"

"So you agree that Zim should come with me and leave earth to its miserable peace" He stated happily.

"NO…yes…_I hate you_" Dib stalked away awkwardly.

"I did not dismiss you" Rik growled "you've ruin my cover and I can no longer hope this filthy cover up to fool Zim too fall head over feet for me…"

"It head over heels you jerk" Dib stopped "Are all male alien fool of them selves!"

(Flash to tallest)

"You're just so short and ugly" Red stated bitterly to Skoodge "You're going to be thrown out the air lock, GUARDS"

"It's a burden to be so tall and handsome!" Purple announced to the whole gathering, Red sighed patting him sympathetically.

(Flash back)

"Of course not" Rik reply thoughtfully "now about that new cover up"

"What about it" He started to walk away, something hot and painful shot him in to shoulder "What the-"

"Thank you for volunteering" Rik's voice came weak in the background "your services are admired"

"You son of a" Dib blacked out.

* * *

Don't hurt me! I know it's been awhile for the update but my computer won't turn on T.T I read a few story's saying irken can't sleep or irkens cant cry… can somebody clear that up because I was watching Invader Zim and the first episode, Skoodge was near tear like thingies and in planet jackers, Zim was watching the other invaders and said that one of them were sleeping on the job. Just a question… Oh I loved the reviews and I really didn't know who drew that picture T.T… 


	8. Breeders and queers

Authors note: hello again ; well as you all DON'T TOUCH THAT! Like I was saying your probably curious I SAID DON'T TOUCH THAT! Never mind just read the story…T.T

Disclaimer: (Tallest red) yeah, yeah she doesn't own Invader Zim, and she isn't supposed to be like (me) I feel unloved T.T…

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"Where am I" Dib looked through blurry eyes and felt like passing out from the instant nausea feeling he got. 

"I see you're finally awake" Riks voice came from the background, Dib knocked out again "or not, oh well you should not be awake anyways you would only interfere, you know I have you to thank you for this brilliant plan if it wasn't for you I'd be having to work for his affection, why am I talking to you when your asleep…" Rik mentally smacked himself and activated the holograph, He pulled a needle out and stuck it in Dib getting a blood sample "All I need is to have your voice and it will be a prefect match, gezz your head is big" Dib stirred in his sleep.

"Head…no…big" He mumble. Rik raised an eyebrow at him while sticking the sample in a machine which popped out a needle with a green liquid in it.

"Sad part is…wait, there is no sad part, oh well, don't touch that red button, it will open the restrains" He ejected the needle. "See ya don't wanna be ya… or, oh never mind" He slammed the door behind him

"What a moron" Dib opened his eyes.

(Zims house)

"Gir, GIR get rid of the pig its getting dirt everywhere" Zim yelled pointing towards the door "Gir are you listening to me"

"nooo I'm not!" Gir said happily playing airplane with the pig.

"Fine Gir, play with the fifthly pork beast, I'm going to the lab to check on the invisible gnome experiment" He replied before Gir threw the pig at his head laughing insanely. "GIR!" Zim was interrupted by his door bell "Great let the robot parents handle it, that's what there for!" Zim waited till the fourth ring and decided the robots wouldn't answer it "Computer!"

"What…" It replied in an aggravated tone.

"Run a repair on the robot parents…yes, yes I'm coming" Zim yelled opening the door "Dib!"

"Hi Zim" He handed him a red flower, which Zim immediately crushed "Aw I wrestled a prom date for that"

"Go away Dib" Zim tried to close the door but it was pushed open "What are you doing, get out of my base!"

"Let's make a deal" Dib offered in a nausea polite way "You spend one day with me and I'll leave you alone for the rest of the month"

"Is this some trick mud monkey?" Zim glared at him "I know your plan, you think you can convince me to give up on taking over the planet, well you guessed wrong"

"Not at all" He smiled to sweetly "Give me one day _please_"

"I knew the handsomeness of Zim was great but this takes the cake" He flattered himself, he held out his hand in acceptance "You have a deal big head, if you break it I break that large head of yours"

(Back in the Riks lab)

"Why do I feel the need to protect my head?" Dib said uncomfortably, he shrugged it off and continued to twist his wrist trying to get out of the restrains put on him "If only I could reach that button…"

(Back to Zim)

"What are you looking at" Dib yelled at a couple walking by them giving discussed looks. "Keep walking breeder" The guy looked at him as if he had three eyes.

"Freak!" The guy yelled as his girlfriend giggled "What a fag"

"I am not a cigarette" He looked dumbfounded "stupid sex swappers here they think there better than everyone else, weaklings."

"What? You're a stupid queer and you call me weak" The boy was being tugged back by his girlfriend. "You fairy"

"I do not look funny! And I don't have wings" He yelled looking at him idiotically "call me that again you kitty lover" (couldn't say the real thing . unless rated R …issues)

"Shut up stick sucker" (Damn my insecurity T.T…you get the picture…)

(10 minutes later)

"Gir maybe you could watch him from a distant" He asked hopefully seeing Gir appear with a taco, Gir saluted in duty mode and took off in the opposite direction disappearing from view "Why do I even bother"

"Don't worry Zim your safe with me, I won't let the mixer hurt you" He grabbed his hand and immediately was pushed in a thrown bush "ow"

"Do not touch the almighty Zim!" He yelled pointing a gloved finger at him "You placed another meaty finger on me, I will do something horrible to your eyes"

(Back to Dib)

"I will never reach it" Dib sighed and started to try mind power to move it, He let out a girly scream when the base wall blew up, the dust cleared and Gir stood there with a taco.

"Master said to watch you" Gir said biting his taco.

"Gir! Can you press that red button" Dib pleaded as the robot came up to him.

"But that's the explody button" Gir wined "things well get all bad"

"I guess that robots not as stupid as I thought" Dib looked with relief but Gir pushed the button anyways.

"Count down begins… 5:00 4:59 4:58"

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The end…I'm joking lol I love reviews . you make me happy. I skimmed through it again so errors might show…I just so lazy T.T Nobody get insult by the whole breeder and queer thingy, seriously I didn't mean it like that T.T... 


	9. Count down

Authors note: I like shiny objects just to let you know . because there cool, and no Im not saying this because I ran out of stuff to say and I just want attention…really it isn't T.T IS NOT! (Confused review: who are you talking to?) I uh…You legs are stupid!

Disclaimer: (Tak) yes, yes she doesn't own Invader Zim (Me) blah, blah big deal, why own Zim when I can own the world! (Tak) you still want to own Invader Zim huh? (Me) T.T yes…

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"4:57" 

"Gir, bad Gir!" Dib yelled trying to wiggle out "Rik must have known I was awake, but how! And why do I keep talking to myself!" Dib looked up seeing a monitor telling his heart rate, blood pressure, and apparently his dream state "how could I miss that!" Just then the screen in front of him showed no other than Rik.

"Hello Dib, since your watching this you should know that the button you pushed was a bomb… and here's the cool part! It's inside you! Neat huh" He laughed evilly "I was hoping to have the honor to activate the bomb after I won Zim over to leave you broken hearted and junk but I guess this works to…ta ta" With that the screen went blank.

"4: 38"

"Gir do you know how to get these restrains off" Dib asked trying to be calm so Gir wouldn't explode under pressure.

"I dooo" Gir said pointing at a blue button at the Connor "master pushes that to release happy boy experiment child all the time!"

"4:29"

"Good can you press it" he asked slowly.

"Only if you sing the doom song" Gir pleaded.

"What... Gir please just press the button Gir" Dib pleaded but Girs eyes went red "Ill give you a taco later"

"taaaaco" Gir said happily running over and pushing the button. Dibs restraints were released and Dib quickly replaced a pig in his place before the machine picked up he left…

"Riks equipment is slow, and where did I get a pig?" Dib asked himself before shrugging it off "I guess we will never know"

"4:13"

"The machine I forgot!" he ran over to the controls and looked dumb founded "I CANT READ ANY OF THIS" So he randomly pushed buttons.

"Time speed increased"

"Oops! No, no, no!" Dib continued to push buttons.

(Rik/Dib and Zim)

"This is taking to long at this rate I will get nowhere" Dib wined pulling out a pill "let's speed up the pace a bit, I'm mean there really is no point waiting around for the perfect moment, people use these all the time…"

"what's that?" Zim had been listing to him the whole time.

"Its uh, this pill will make me stronger so no enemy will defeat me! And I will use it against you I guess…" He shrugged as Zim blinked at him "…hurry before I swallow it…" Zim swiped it away

"Ha! Now I will absorb this pill thingy so I may finally defeat you, I shall use your own weapon against you!" Zim said jumping onto a bench pill in hand "You think you can outsmart the almighty Zim, you are wrong Dib, oh how wrong you are, and the very wrongness makes me ill"

"Uh yeah you caught me" He said monetarily before giving a dramatic act "…I can't fool you Zim, you are to smart for me, I don't know why I even thought I could fool the almighty Zim" Zim dropped the pill.

"You're not Dib!" He backed away "Dib would never admit I'm better than him"

"I uh, your right cause stupid alien… uh" He grabbed the pill and looked at it and sighed "enough is enough, I tire of this human act Ill give one chance Zim, come with me by choice or force"

"Rik I should have known!" Zim poked him in the chest "I should have known you weren't him the moment you asked to spend time with me!"

"I'll give you to the count of three!" Rik's voice started to rise but Zim wasn't listening.

"I mean seriously the earth monkey asking to spend the day with me, I can't believe I fell for that" He laughed.

"One"

"That should have been my first and last sign! How I ZIM could missed that!"

"_Two_"

"Do these outfits ever look like a dress to you?"

"What well yeah kind of, hey wait? **Three**!" Rik tackled him but Zim refused to go down quietly and started to struggle under the tight grip "This would be a lot easier if you didn't struggle"

"Get off NOW!" Zim yelled getting his arms pinned by Rik's knees. Zim released his spider legs but Rik did too pinning each leg down.

"Open your mouth" Rik's hand squeezed at the back of his jaw giving him no choice "there you go…" Rik quickly cover Zim's mouth after putting the pill in "swallow… you have to breathe sometime…" Zim glared swallowing the pill "See that wasn't s-" Rik received a painful strike at the back of his head.

"Hands off my alien" Dib dropped the rock.

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Thankys for reviewing! Until next time! Hehehe! 


	10. Sanity?

Authors note: (walks onto stage and someone throws tomato)…Who threw that! I know where you live! I swear aliens took me hostage and the threw me into a cage of chicken where I was pecked till I broke down the secret that barney was on drugs then they threw me to the elephants in Alaska! And that's why I posted late!

Disclaimer: (Keef) isn't Zim so wonder full! Its to bad you don't own him!(Me) You want to keep your organs or should I rip them out. (Keef) you can never rip my organs out like Zim does! (Me) T.T leavey me alone

* * *

"Your alien!" Rik yelled rubbing the back of his head "Why does everyone insist on hitting me?"

"I don't know your heads like a magnet… a dirty rotten magnet" Dib declared.

"So you have a bighead!" He pushed him.

"My heads not big! You self absorbed nimrod" He pushed him back "You tried to kill me just because I wouldn't admit I was even slightly interested in ZIM, I'll have you know I will never admit I want to strap him to a autopsy table and do CPR! NEVER"

"…you just did…" He pointed out very disturbed but then mental asked himself what CPR was. Dib stood stunned.

"Did not…" He stood there stiffly as an awkward silent passed by them while Rik got up.

"I just heard you! What are we 6?" Rik pointed a finger in his face.

"I know what you are but what am I…" Dib crossed his arms sticking his nose in the air.

"Whatever" He grabbed a remote from his pocket "Goodbye human" He pushed the button. Meanwhile his base just exploded "Hm why isn't it working" Dib lifted his shirt halfway reveling a huge gash and blood dripping down his body.

"I took that toy of yours out Rik" He pulled his shirt down again.

"Does it feel hot in here..." Zim asked yanking at his collar "What type of pill was that?"

"Pill? What pill" Dib looked nervously at Zim.

"None of you're your concern" Rik cut in "We shall be leaving now..." Dib moved in front of him.

"You're not going anywhere Rik, What did you give him?" Rik pulled out a gun aiming it at Dibs head. But Dib ducked grabbing a gun out shooting at him; elastic handcuffs wrapped itself around Riks wrist.

"Zim forgot his gun at my place" Dib smiled happily waving the device in front of him. Rik tackled him.

"Stupid humans shouldn't play with advanced equipment" Rik sneered whacking the gun out of his hands and shooting randomly as Dib knocked him off, Dib dodged them easily since he's been through this so many times with Zim. 'Speaking of Zim' He looked over and saw him rolling on the ground, in a field of daisy.

"…Whatever you gave him Rik…" Dib watched as furry happy animals gathered around the high alien "it inhuman…"

"This brings me to another point…" Rik managed to bit off the elastic handcuffs. "Your relationship with Zim"

"OH for crying out loud! All I said was inhuman" Dib hit his head.

"You see that just it! It's inhuman Dib; you cannot be cushy like with Zim…"

"Sorry what I wasn't listening" He yawned sitting down beside Zim.

"Did anyone ever tell you your gigantic head is romantic…" Zim hugged Dibs head "your freakishly huge head has a romantic ness to it, MY SPINE!_ Back you horribly adorable monsters!"_

"…This just got weird" He cringed at the cracking sound of the aliens back backing by a deer stepping on him.

"… What I was trying to say Dib" Rik cut in "Are you willing to doom the earth for an alien you _don't_ like"

"Well…no" Dib looked at the ground "but I-"

"Dib, what where your planning to do…chase him till you got old?" Riks voice dripped with sarcasm "you investigate the paranormal Dib… not date them, learn you place"

"I now my place Rik" Dib replied discussed.

"Tell me it then." He barked getting annoyed.

"To save the world… from an insane chaotic alien friend" Dib said softly, but Zims hysterical laughter is ruining his Kodak moment.

"But I'm asking you if you're willing to get rid of your greatest enemy?" Rik went over to Zim picking him up, Zim looked dib in the eyes and glared, Rik seeing that Dib didn't move to stop him he started to head for his spaceship "If you had any sanity you wont stop me" he didn't. The spaceship closed and he watched as it lifted off, zim clearly slamming into the window freely.

"… Something isn't right" he asked himself out loud.

"Good bye Dib" Rik sneered before his rockets blasted him upwards. Dib ponder on the feeling then something mentally hit him and he took off towards his house. He quickly opened the gauge door and hopped in Taks ship.

"Is something wrong" Gaz watched as her brother power up the ship quickly.

"Yes there is!" Dib said happily "I'm insane!" With that he basted off towards the sky.

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LOL I like reviews; they remind me of chickens kind of. Until next time!...EDITED cbr is not a word but cpr is O.O but its my word... 


	11. Side note

Im sorry my computer was taken awayO.O so I have to type the chapter allover againalong with everything I had saved... there has been a debate between the pairings tho, I know it will end up ZADR but at least I wont have to be the blame of it hahahaha! (cough) so vote right now and Ill get the chapter up soon. I will replace this with the chapter so you wont have to look at this side note.

Chickens are coolOO I want a chickenT.T


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